I once dated a girl that broke my heart in pieces way back 2003. That singular event made me more ‘deadly’ & brought out the beast in me.
She was young, naive and beautiful. And she was in love with ‘all that glitters’ and was a kindergarten liar.
But, she was the way I wanted a woman; beautiful, intelligent, God fearing, and over everything, she spoke my language fluently.
One thing I missed as a kid.
I understand every Okun twist but can’t speak any. Still haunts me.
But I wanted her because then it’ll mean my kids won’t be lost.
Back to the story; I’d travelled to go see her where she was serving in Yenagoa. I went without telling her I was coming, even as my very good friend, now late, Fatima insisted, “Segun, I’m a woman. Never surprise any woman especially the one you love. Tell her you’re coming or you may meet a heartbreak.”
I went, anyway and damn…
It was that year and time I had a ticket to go watch the opening of the Abuja National Stadium. I chose to go see her instead.
To cut to the chase, she fell went away with her corper friend. A guy who already had his own woman but lied to her, according to her story that she didn’t know.
How can a youth corp member tell you he has no one and you’ll believe him? Is there anybody anywhere who’s unattached? Unless if you love to be lied to.
On my way back after I found out she had other plans other than the ones we had outlined, robbers shot at the vehicle I boarded from PH to Benin enroute Abuja. It was at that moment that I made up my mind; “what if I died? Will she not move on?” I moved on and she never cared.
You know women, when they set their hearts on something, until it falls flat, they’ll never learn nor listen.
One day I heard, the guy denied her when she’d gone for a weekend at his place, right in front of his woman who had arrived from ‘Pitakwa’ unannounced.
It broke her heart and regrets set in.
She tried to return to me immediately but 6 years after then, during which I had cut off communication and was alone, with no ‘serious’ relationship.
We reconnected late 2009, 2 years after her marriage. She apologized for what happened and told me she’s now married but every day, she was haunted by the event that pulled us apart.
“The heart is not so smart, I goofed & miss you”, she said. I laughed and replied, “…I understand. But don’t bother. I’ll only hurt you now.”
That’s me. Once I walk, I don’t look back. Because if I do, hm…
It took God to forgive her but I did.
Not that I don’t forgive easily, but this was a woman I loved deeply who betrayed my trust.
It was a struggle but after I forgave her, I felt free and could breathe again.
We are ‘friends’ (not sure if I care) today and she won’t discuss anything without mentioning what transpired; guilty conscience I guess. We’d laugh it off. But I just had to stop and ensured it stayed that way.
Long relationships don’t collapse because of distance but lack of commitment to it.
Most women fall for what they see and hear only to learn after making a big mistake. Some recover, some live with the regret for the rest of their lives.
Bottom line, always part ways with people on grounds of respect, mutual understanding and with fear of God.
Ladies, it’s a dangerous thing to leave those you promised FOREVER.
Some are cursed, not necessarily verbally, but because some carry some unseen powers and the curse(s) may linger for ever.
Men do same too, if not worse.
I don’t trust easily. When you betray my pint of trust, it may never be regained. Same with other people.
Learn to be truthful in everything. In it you’ll find lasting peace yourself.
SW&SH is a weekly series on Procyon News.
I’m done, I’m gone, I’m ghost!