Smoking Weed & Sipping Hennessy … “I’m big and it’s always erect!”

Before writing my WAEC in 1990, I recall how myself and couple of my friends would go to the state library along Bida road in Kaduna to go study.

In those days, regardless of the school you attend, gathering at the library to have intellectual discussions was the real deal. It was richer and bigger than doing drugs.

We’d discuss everything including what’s happening in the world, internet was not the in thing then but what you read in the pages of newspapers, from those who travel and of course from the news.

We gathered to rub minds and expand our horizon. The debates are usually brutal and if you didn’t do your research before showing up for battles, you’ll be thoroughly skinned.

We propounded theories and sustained same till old age. Most of the jokes and ‘tiahuns’ you hear or read about most probably came from ‘The Theatre Of War’ where we brainstormed.

Those days were beautiful.

Ran into ‘Famous’ today & we got talking about different issues and ended up with the case of ‘Teacher’- the notorious man who’d always show up at the library to come look at girls privates.

One day Famous had noticed him; having discussed his notoriety with the rest of us, we decided to set him up with one sweet chic, who’s now a mother of 4 and now a banker.

His tool, sweets, pens, newspaper pages.

He’d let the pen, sweet or newspaper page fall off, while sorted right in front of any lady he chooses in the library, then he’d bend down, pretending to pick up the item, then be peeping their privates while he masturbates.

He had caught him red handed and pushed him around before throwing him out of the library and of course informed the library keepers of his act.

“I didn’t do it o!” He had said that day.

“So how come there’s sperm on your hands?” Asked the library keeper.

He looked at his hand and said, “it’s thick saliva”.

“That bulge in your shokoto nko? Is that a rabbit?!” Screamed a female librarian.

We all laughed as he tried to cover it and said as we pushed him out, “…that’s how I am. I’m big and it’s always erect!”

We both laughed at the incident as we discussed.

Then we ended on how the state library has been neglected. How nobody goes to the library to read or have intellectual discussions any more.

“I blame the sudden change and the internet. Then again, I blame the system. They refused to re-equip the library with latest books. You won’t believe, that book (Physics or Chemistry) called ‘Ababio’, the one whose 6 pages I tore and took home to read is still in the library after so many years?!”

We used to steal books too to make our libraries at home…chaiii!

I sighed, “… our libraries are dead! Even if they’ll go ‘e’, we should keep the hard copies alive”.

“Yes! You know what? Let’s see how many of our old friends we can pull together, let’s have a small G2G at the library and see what we can put back to make it fun again.

“I’m in!” I said.

I think we should breath some life back in our libraries so we don’t totally lose it all.

SW&SH is a weekly series on here and on ‘Jokes Apart With SMG’…

Join me!

I’m done, I’m gone, I’m ghost!

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